A few months ago, my close friend’s grandmother died. This friend is like family–we’ve known one another since 2nd grade– and my mom and her mom, M., are also longtime buddies, like sisters. My mom was helping M. clean out her mother’s home when they came across a box of Angel cards (“Messages from your Angels,” it says on the outside of the box). M told my mom to give me the cards, knowing they’d be up my alley. When my mom handed me the box that evening, I accidentally dropped it and one card slipped out onto the floor. My Angel, Gabrielle, had a message for me: “You have an important life purpose involving communication and the arts. Please don’t allow insecurities to hold you back. I will help you.”
I have spent many years of my life in hiding, fearful of messing up or failing or maybe even shining too brightly. Over the last two years, since I began my yoga teaching career, I have taken more risks than ever before–leaving my zone of comfort and sharing my truth with others, opening my heart to others. Allowing myself to be vulnerable. It feels like coming out of the shadows. And some days, as I’ve written in past posts, the teaching feels inspired and connected, like a fluid dance between myself and students. On other days, it’s more like an awkward first date: silence that feels strained and heavy. On those less than inspiring days, I gaze longingly at my old hiding spot, wondering why I left. My old insecurities re-emerge and cause me to question if this is an appropriate path for me, a shy girl.
Gabrielle, the Angel, reminds me that growth happens when we move into and through our fears, not away from them. I needed the encouragement on that particular evening and silently thanked my friend’s Grandmother, Gigi, for sharing her Angel cards with me.