In a recent Astrology Counseling Session, I picked a card from my Animal Spirit Deck (by Kim Krans) to begin the Reading. I like to do this because it sets the tone and foundation for our session together. The meaning of the card almost always aligns with the themes I see in the Natal Chart, which inspires me, and is my method of “letting go” (getting out of my head, so to speak) to invite into the reading the higher qualities of intuition and trust … trusting in the flow of the conversation and that the client will receive exactly what she or he needs.
My client smiled and shared with me a story of the significance of this particular animal in her life.
The Panther’s tagline is: “Annihilation of the Unnecessary, Purging.”
This, as it turns out, is also the perfect tagline for the Scorpio Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on May 5 (1:34 EST).
During this Scorpio Full Moon Eclipse, we have an opportunity to let go, once and for all, of the ghosts of the past. I moved home from San Francisco at age 30, with my many boxes in tow. I had a recurring dream during this period of my life: I was on a bus, but I didn’t know where I was headed and as the bus halted, I understood this was “my stop.” I simultaneously realized I had a ton of stuff surrounding me that I had to somehow collect before the bus started up again. As I frantically tried to gather my things, which my dream-self was very attached to, they spilled all over the aisle. I couldn’t contain or hold them. My heart was racing; I was about to miss my stop.
A few months after I moved back to New York, I asked myself why I was attached to this stuff and dragging it with me from place to place, especially since I wasn’t using more than half of it. An image comes to mind of myself pulling a big, heavy wagon full of junk.
Kim Krans, author of the Animal Spirit deck, writes: “The Panther won’t stand to see our growth or energy stagnate. Instead, it pounces into our lives and causes all kinds of havoc … with the ultimate intention of bringing us toward a more fulfilling life. It’s unexpected, uncomfortable, and sometimes feels devastating, but after all the dust clears it’s easy to see the panther’s wisdom at work. We’ve all been through these experiences, and they’ve made us better people. Trust that the panther’s journey always leads to a brighter place.”
Getting rid of the unnecessary. It can be overwhelming. Where do we start?
I often offer in my yoga classes that a first step in “letting go” is to feel the solidity of the ground under you, and to allow your body to receive that support. Those of us who have the tendency to “hold on” and “hold in” may find it difficult to connect to the feeling of support but we can, simply, bring awareness to the ground under us as the first step. It takes practice to undo holding patterns. When we feel supported, we can begin to trust again in the “flow” and rhythms of life, and accept the truth that we are not, solely, in control of it. This is how we begin to do the work of “letting go.”
My yoga student recently shared an insight she had as she was cleaning out her home and going through an emotional purging process. She said: “In a few cases, I’ve realized that I’m not even keeping someone else’s happy memory but actually a traumatic one.” She went on to talk about an item in her home, a small rocking chair of her aunt’s, that was tied to a major loss.
The Scorpio Lunar Eclipse invites us to ponder this very question. Are we holding onto someone else’s tragic memories?
I spent many weeks sorting through my mom’s stuff, and cleaning out her home, after she died at the end of 2020. So much of the stuff she was storing (in the china cabinets, in drawers and closets, in the highest kitchen cabinets, under the bed) held the weight of sad memories of a “some day” that never came, of a life she had envisioned for herself that never was. One day, when my mother had become too sick to leave her bed, my niece was playing in her bedroom; she slid from under the bed a bin with my beautiful, but very old, baby clothes. My mom had worked for a French fashion company when I was young and had dressed me well. She had stored these delicate, unique items under the bed for a “some day” that never came. My niece opened the bin, excited to see what was inside and asked if they were doll clothes, but I could see this was too much for my mother handle, and I asked her if we should close the bin. She nodded her head sadly: “Yes, let’s close it.”
This was one of the most painful and devastating moments I experienced during my mother’s illness: the reality that her time was up, the “some day” had irrevocably vanished, and there would be no happy ending.
Each time I filled my car with stuff to donate, I felt irritated, icky, heavy, and “stuck.” I was walking through mud as I carried each bag or box to the car. Even driving to the donation place felt like a tedious and cumbersome journey. But after each drop-off, and the new-found space in my vehicle, the heaviness dissipated and it felt like soaring upward, into the sky, in a hot air balloon. It was like a spiritual detox.
Even through I had gone through my own purging process several years before my mom died (all that stuff I carted home from San Fran, and then some), I was deeply entwined in the things my mother was storing; the items for “some day” symbolized loss, regret, sorrow, anger, and fear: Scorpio South Node emotions, ripe for us to release. It was as if I could not be fully free until I sorted through my mom’s stuff (which was also my stuff, in a way) and let it go. Once we begin the “letting go” process, there is an unstoppable force at our backs.
Let’s circle back to the Aries New Moon Eclipse, on April 20th, which pushed us forward onto a new path or may have motivated you to re-connect with your goals; it may have also marked a turning point or crossroads in your life. Now the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio asks us to release the habits and patterns that hold us back, so we can continue in this new direction.
At the same time, Mercury and Pluto, now in retrograde motion, signify a slowing down to do an inventory of the truths we have been running from, or trying to avoid. It’s time to face the stuff that piled up in the back of the closet. We may now see our past choices in an unforgiving light, and the reality of where those decisions have landed us may feel uncomfortable, startling, or even frightening. If it is a harsher light that shows up for you now and forces you to look at things that you would rather avoid, take heart in the fact that we now have an opportunity to make changes, to bring structure and consistency to an area of life that has slipped through our grip, or that we imagined we would “some day” tend to. The “some day” is now. The process of creating boundaries in an area of life that has become too “loose” can be healing and freeing.
If you would like to dive deeper into the area of you life that is calling for attention and structure, you can take a look at the house that Saturn in Pisces is traveling in, in your Natal Chart (as well as Pluto Retrograde). Maybe it is time for an Astrology Counseling Session. 🙂 If you are considering a Reading/Astrology Counseling Session, my hourly rate is reduced through May.
A note on Mercury retrograde: it is an invitation to to truly listen and to hold the space for someone with no agenda, no unsolicited advice giving. This is the best gift you can give someone, and it is a rare one. This theme of listening, being present, is connected to the areas of life we neglect or avoid: we have stopped “listening” in these areas. When we develop listening skills, it begins with listening first to ourselves, connecting to our own intuition, inner wisdom and truth. Then, and only then, are we able to be fully present for the people in our lives.
And, finally, we have arrived back at The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio.
On Friday May 5, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio lands on the Sabian symbol: Children playing around 5 mounds of sand. It may seem like an odd or incongruent image for the heaviness we associate with Scorpio South Node, but perhaps it is about integrating opposites. As we face and free ourselves from the chains of heavy emotions and baggage, much of which isn’t even ours (like the rocking chair my client spoke about), we become lighter in the metaphysical heart area, which allows for creativity and play. In a survival mode or a fear-based state, we lose the ability to play and have fun. In the face of challenging or painful circumstances, “fun” and “play” are the last things on the agenda, but as we move through difficult emotions and experiences, we may be able to shed some of what we are carrying and invite in the space that leads to a lighter state of being.
[For insight into which Houses in your Natal Chart/part of your life are being activated by the Eclipse, read my blog, Second Chances and Finding the Spiritual in the Mundane (scroll down for a description of each House Axis). If you don’t know which houses the Full Moon Eclipse will land in your chart, you can get a free Natal Chart from many different websites, including Cafe Astrology and Astro.com)]
If life has felt chaotic for you recently, Jupiter will soon (on May 16) say farewell to impulsive and fast-paced Aries for a slower-paced and earthy Taurus, over the next year, and this may bring much needed grounding, and a feeling of settling.
Our mission now is to align with the steady, slower qualities of Taurus, creating the stability we need to feel safe in the world, productive, and confident in our ability to build or create something we set our minds and hearts to … we can then become more grounded and present in our life experiences and maybe even feel the joy of a child playing (and building castles) in the sand.